Creating The Perfect Work day Where Stress is Virtually Impossible
| 04 January 2010
"Now that would have to have been the most perfect day," I said cheerfully to myself as I was pedalling home on my bike. I don't know if you have another voice inside your head but the voice inside of my head startled me that much that I nearly fell of my bike.
"Did you say PERFECT when yesterday you said that you were going to create a perfect day?" squealed my inner voice in delight.
"Yeah I suppose I did say perfect, "I acknowledged with a grin of self satisfaction while not even being slightly self conscious of having a conversation with myself.
"And you created it," cheered my alter ego who seems to represent the more exuberant side of me. I began laughing as I spent the rest of my journey home fully engaged in a conversation with my other half recalling the process I went through on the previous day to create this perfect day.
"But it's impossible to have a perfect day," shouted out my resident sceptic, Barry as I was sharing this story at one of my Decimating Stress Workshops. Others at the workshop were quick to nod their heads in agreement.
"It depends upon your rules for perfection," I stated with a cheeky smirk on my face.
A confused hush came over the group. I think that they were more confused about why I was so seemingly happy that the entire group was disputing my claim.
Work stress, anxiety and depression aren’t caused by a lack of Prozac
| 30 October 2009
Many businesses and workers are being put under even greater strain as they try to cope with the ever-increasing rate of worker absenteeism or poor work performance due to “work-related stress”. In addition, the effects of stress, anxiety and depression in the home are stretching many families and relationships beyond breaking point. But are we dealing with stress, depression and anxiety the right way? Or are we just covering up the symptoms of stress with a chemical straight jacket while ignoring the cause.
If you think about it, does it make sense that you or I are stressed because of a lack of Prozac in my bloodstream? Then why do we continually get prescribed pills to deal with stress?
I have been confused why the mental health experts and support groups are at pains to convince us that anxiety and depression are diseases. They say that anxiety and depression are caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain giving us an inability to feel happy.
Many doctors continue to blindly hand out these so-called happy pills despite a major recent study that demonstrates that anti-depressant medications have no significant effect...
Just let go and trust your instincts
| 17 September 2009
"Are you sure you want to do this mate?" I asked my 5 year old son Daniel as I removed his bikes training wheels."
"Yep" he replied without a moment’s hesitation.
"Did you want to wear any padding? We've got wrist pads, knee pads and elbow pads"
"Just the wrist and knee pads, thanks Daddy."
I strapped the protective pads on him as he put on his helmet.
"Let's go mate”, “I said as I wheeled him out of the garage. As we went down the embankment of our driveway I found myself clinging to Daniel's shirt.
"Let go, Daddy. Let go,"Daniel said calmly.
I let go and to my amazement Daniel went down the embankment and rode his bike up the street for about thirty metres letting out a "Woo Hoo!" in delight. After dropping his bike and falling on his feet while trying to negotiate a turn Daniel called out to me.
"Are you alright champ?" I asked.
“Yeah. Dad, can you take this?" he replied, ripping off his knee pads and wrist pads. "These are hurting me. I can't ride properly with these on"
He proceeded to jump back onto his bike and ride around for the next twenty minutes.
As I watched him I realized that I learn so much from watching my children. Today I learnt to be more like a child. I learnt that like Daniel’s wrist and knee pads we can become so preoccupied trying not to get hurt or not to make a mistake that it can interfere with what we want to do. How many times in your life have you be frozen in fear? Afraid to take action because you were afraid of making a mistake.
The solution? ...
The key to happiness in the workplace: a Lesson from the happiest person In the world
| 11 August 2009
Happiness can be a real deal clincher. With very little often separating competing bids and tenders, the deciding factor often comes down to how pleasurable it has been in dealing with the people involved. But are people naturally happy or is it a skill that can be learnt? I learnt the answer from who I regard as the "happiest person in the world" and the answer might have you reassess how and who you hire.
A couple of years ago I was fortunate to help out at a health centre where I was reunited with a former work colleague of mine. Berni worked with me for three years before she moved to Queensland's Gold Coast with her husband. In all my years of working with Berni, she always had a smile on her face and a happy outgoing disposition. I have known Berni for over 15 years now and I can't ever recall a frown or a phrase uttered in a negative tone coming from Berni. She wasn't one of those fake, Pollyanna types who weren't connected with reality. Berni was genuinely caring and loving in her character and she was always happy. Berni would win my vote for the happiest person in the world and now I know why she is so happy.
Walking Barefoot Over Hot Coals: a lesson in emotional management
| 04 August 2009
The beat of African jungle drums were blaring from the set of giant loudspeakers. You could feel the pulse of the music reverberating against my whole body causing my own pulse to rise in anticipation. I was apart of a group of about 1000 keen and not-so-keen participants who were being lead outside in to the early Hawaiian evening. A large full moon, showing itself above the shadow of the palm trees just seemed to add to the primal nature of what we were about to put ourselves through. We were about to face a 50 feet fire walk and my senses were alive to the extreme.
The group were corralled to a large grassy area at the front of the hotel. Expecting to see the faint glow of hot coals, we were introduced to a large bonfire spitting 12 foot high flames into the clear evening sky. It was as if it was trying deliberately trying to display its strength and power in an effort to scare us into backing out. I have to admit, it was a bit intimidating at first but no-one wanted to be the first to back out. “Welcome to the fire walk experience,” announced the lead instructor. “In just over one hour you will be walking over 50 feet over red hot coals from this fire.”
After the initial hoots of enthusiasm and bravado, we returned to the conference hall where it was down to the serious business of learning the proper technique to walk safely over hot coals...
Two vital words for reducing stress in your life
| 01 August 2009
Have you ever experienced the joy of watching a child crawl or walk for the first time? How did it feel? Can you remember the look of sheer delight on their faces?
Although it was about eight years ago, It seems like yesterday when I first saw Aleisha (our first child) learn to crawl for the first time. My wife, Angela brought Aleisha with her to visit me while I was coordinating the health support program for about 500 budding entrepreneurs at a 5 day "Billionaire In Training" workshop at the Hyatt Regency in Coolum, Queensland.
I can still recall that I had a short lunch break and met them at my hotel room. Angela came in at put Aleisha down on the floor. Aleisha saw me and her face exploded with delight. She took off crawling at high speed straight towards me. Tears welled in my eyes as Aleisha came crawling over to me emanating this half giggling, half puffing sound. For the next half an hour we spent on the practice putting green at the resort golf course as I rolled golf balls around watching Aleisha chase them.
Why am I mentioning this? It's to remind us of two words vital for reducing stress in our lives…
Reducing workplace stress and conflict and boosting profits at the same time
| 30 July 2009
I recently had troubles with my computer so I arranged for a local computer technical support company to come out and fix the problem.
“We’ll see you at 11.00 tomorrow,” the company confirmed. “How long should I allow for this?” I asked so I could most effectively plan around this inconvenience.
“Problems like these can take anywhere from a half an hour to two hours to fix,” they replied. I looked at my diary for tomorrow and made a few phone calls to reschedule things. I was pleased with the outcome and had a productive day ahead of me despite the computer glitch.
When 11 am arrived and the technical support person hadn’t arrived, I reminded myself to be patient and reassured myself that they would be here soon. By the time 11.20 came around I called the company to find out where their representative was.
“Oh, he must be caught up at a previous job,” said his work colleague.” I’ll call him to find out where he is and I’ll get back to you immediately.”
15 minutes went by and I still hadn’t heard from the company so I called again.
“Uh, sorry. I was just going to call you,” he said with embarrassment.” Yeah right, “I thought to myself. “They don’t really care about all the important things that I am still to do.”
“I have just heard back from him and he said that he can be at your place by 12.30,” the company representative said.
“OK,” I said with begrudging annoyance. My computer was needed for many of my afternoon tasks so I then had to reschedule my afternoon yet again.
When the computer guy arrived, he said “Sorry I’m late,” as he then indulged me in some story outlining all the reasons why he was late. In essence he was trying to put the responsibility for his lateness onto someone else. I didn’t buy it.
The computer guy did a good enough job on the computer at a reasonable price but it also cost me 90 minutes of unproductive time. It could also cost the company a chance of doing future business with me.
So many companies make the mistake of trying to make the claim of "great customer service" as their unique point of difference yet they don’t even deliver the basic service of doing what they say. Simply keeping your word with your customers when you have an appointment or deliver will help alleviate a lot of the stress and antagonism from customers and will certainly help to retain customers.
In these more challenging economic times the old adage, "Time is money," is more relevant than ever. When you are reliable in keeping your word, you are saving your customers time and money and they will support your business because of that. Keeping your word develops one of the most valuable business commodities: integrity.
Many of you may be in business where circumstances and events that are outside of your control can interfere with your capacity to honour commitments that you have made. You can still develop great integrity and prevent a lot of consumer stress by following these two guidelines:
The no stress way to resolving conflict in the workplace
| 29 July 2009
I was recently visiting a friend when the phone rang. A brief but terse conversation ensued before John abruptly finished the phone call with “I’ll see you in court.”
“What was that about?” I asked, noticing that John was quite unsettled.
“We had some cupboards installed for $8000. We were issued with a quote for $8000 and we paid it. He says that we owe him $850 for delivery and installation. That was their collection agency threatening to take us to court.”
“What did it say on your quote?”
Showing me the quote, John points to the area marked delivery fees. “See, there it says “Delivery fee - As requested”. We thought that meant that they will deliver it to us as we requested. If we knew that there was and extra $850 charge for delivery and installation, we would have chosen a different company. We are not going to let ourselves be ripped off by a crook.”
“What is the company’s opinion?” I asked.
“They say that their quote was given according to guidelines outlined by their industry body and that we need to pay up or they’ll take us to court,” John replied.
“So really this conflict comes down to confusion to the meaning of what “as requested” means in the original quote?”
“Yes.”
“So you are going to get a lawyer and spend a day in court over a simple misunderstanding?” I asked.
“It is a matter of principle.”
“Is it worth the time, the expense, the stress and the lost nights sleep to try to prove that you’re right?”
There was a pregnant pause as John contemplated the real impact of this argument in his recent quality of life. “What do you propose?” he asked.
“You know how I use to work at many Judo tournaments over the years? Well, there was this one smaller competitor who could consistently flip his larger opponents with relative ease. I asked him how he managed to do it.
He said that the key is not to push against them. You don’t get anywhere like that. You must align yourself with their force. You need to pull when they push so you are both going in the same direction. When you are both going in the same direction the contest is virtually over.
It is a very similar concept to resolving potential conflict. Whether it is with a customer or with a colleague, a conflict can only continue for as long as you push against the other person’s opinion. Once you align yourself with the other person’s point of view that you can resolve the conflict.”
“So how do we put it into practice in this instance?” asked John.
Whether it is with a work colleague or with a customer, there is a 4 step process to resolving most conflicts...
Managing stress can be child’s play
| 22 July 2009
I love simple and practical solutions. In the health arena, there is a great and deliberate tendency by many to overcomplicate health issues. Yes it confuses the consumers encouraging them to accept the marketing hype as gospel. At the same time it gives many snake oil remedies an aura of being scientific.
When it comes to resolving stress, the solutions never seem simple. Most therapists suggest that you have to go back in detail and resolve all the issues from your childhood that are giving you stress now. Since my own near nervous breakdown 10 years ago I have researched all sorts of methods to reduce your stress levels.
I have walked barefoot over burning coals and broken glass. I have struggled to keep myself awake through many a boring lecture. I have devoured countless CDs, books and web pages in my pursuit of simple effective tools for reducing stress. But I have to admit, it is a bit like panning for gold. You have to sift through a lot of dirt to find a gem. And also you can strike it lucky at times when you least expect it. And I just did find a stress- reducing gem when I least expected it.
It was while I was reading a story to my son before he went to bed.
It was from a children's book called The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside. The story is about a young girl who begins worrying about things and eventually carried them around with her wherever she went.
The girl meets an old lady who wanted to help her. She encouraged the young girl to open her bag of worries but young girl was terribly frightened to because she was afraid of what might happen.
Here comes the great advice...
How your stress management skills affect your earning potential
| 01 July 2009
As I came back from the business meeting, my wife noticed the glazed and drained look upon my face. “How did the business meeting go?” she asked with a knowingly grin upon her face for she had seen that look on me before.
“No wonder the guys business is struggling.” I replied.
“Why is that?”
“What was meant to be a meeting on how to boost his business, ended up with him going on about how his wife has left him and how his business partner has left him. When I offered some suggestions and strategies to improve them, he would just come up with reasons why it wouldn’t work. It was as if he just wanted to complain and wasn’t open to any help.”
I’m sure you all know people like that or have had to endure such draining meetings like I did. The way they choose to manage stress may make them feel better but it is often at the expense of those around them.
But recent research is showing that such stress management methods are not only draining for other people but are also draining on their wallet. A study of the lives of 268 Harvard Sophomores for 70 years found that the way that you coped with stress had a definite impact on your income potential.